Bombs Away
You by no means know what’s laying round within the neighbor’s storage. A Bellevue resident handed away lately and left his neighbor answerable for his belongings—together with a rusted, army grade missile. After the neighbor referred to as a museum in Ohio to ask about it, the museum reached out to native police. Seems the missile, a Douglas Air-2 Genie designed to hold Chilly Battle–period nuclear warheads (however not carrying one), was inert.
Carroll Carousel
The 2024 Seattle soccer panorama will look rather a lot totally different. However not that totally different. Solely every week after legendary Seahawks coach Pete Carroll was ousted after 14 years, and the one Tremendous Bowl victory in franchise historical past, the Washington Huskies employed his son Brennan to be their offensive coordinator. (Additionally they added Steve Belichick, son of former Patriots coach and Seahawks nemesis Invoice, to steer their protection.)
Testing, Testing
4 years after the nation’s first identified case of Covid-19 was confirmed in Washington, our state is introducing merchandising machines to dispense free take a look at kits, amongst different well being provides. Shut your eyes and assume again to early 2020. This isn’t the longer term you’d have imagined. The machines, unveiled by the Division of Well being, will likely be in public locations, managed by native well being jurisdictions and Tribal nations.
Spring 2024
Barging In
A runaway barge drifting perilously near vacationer points of interest on the Seattle waterfront? Seems like a state of affairs dreamed up for a Gray’s Anatomy episode. Nevertheless it truly occurred late final yr. Earlier than the huge barge loaded with empty containers may smash into the Nice Wheel or Seattle Aquarium, the captain and crew of a close-by King County Water Taxi acted quick, utilizing their very own vessel to push the barge north towards an remoted space. Remarkably, no person was injured.
Radio Radio
For the previous three a long time, Seattle’s beloved indie radio station KEXP has been slowly rising its footprint: more and more giant transmitters, a brand new dwelling in Seattle Middle, a well-liked YouTube channel for its reside performances, possession of a second radio station within the Bay Space. Wait, what? Yep. KEXP bought KREV 92.7 out of receivership for $3.75 million. The brand new KREV will broadcast KEXP programming in and round San Francisco and ultimately launch a neighborhood Bay Space music present. How did KEXP pay for it? With assist from a $10 million bequest left by an nameless donor—so don’t fear, Amplifiers, your {dollars} are staying native.
Pac-2
The once-storied West Coast faculty sports activities convention that was dwelling to the College of Washington, UCLA, Stanford, and others has been cannibalized by larger, wealthier conferences with extra profitable TV offers. The result’s that 10 of its 12 applications are on their method out the door, leaving solely Washington State College and Oregon State College holding the (empty) bag. The logistics are advanced, and the authorized combat is ongoing. However search for Pac-2 soccer in 2024, whereas the Huskies break new floor within the Massive Ten, which is definitely going to be nearer to a Massive 20.
Bartell Them Goodbye
A pandemic-era Capitol Hill landmark is gone, and a historic native chain is struggling. The Ceremony Support with the “Come Get Sh_t_ Right here” marquee turned the most recent in a wave of closures amongst Seattle-area drug shops because the pharmacy big declared chapter. Ceremony Support—which purchased Seattle-founded Bartell Medication in 2020—has been shuttering places of each chains for months, together with shops in Everett, Bellevue, and Redmond.
Winter 2023
Cretaceous Race
Tons of of vicious dinosaurs (individuals in giant, inflatable costumes) descended on Emerald Downs racetrack for the T-Rex World Championship Races, which included each child and grownup occasions. Amid the stumbling grownup dinos, a trio sprinted to the entrance of the pack for a photograph end within the closing contest. “I’ve been coaching for this all my life,” stated winner Boto Rex (actual identify Ocean Kim) from atop the rostrum, his little dino arms hoisting an enormous inexperienced trophy.
Stepped in It
It’s a unclean job however someone’s acquired to do it. Pooper Trooper, based mostly in Lynnwood, filed swimsuit towards Scoop Troop, a Spokane firm, for infringing on its model identification and trademark. Each companies specialise in canine waste removing, a surprisingly profitable and aggressive business. The case was settled out of courtroom when Scoop Troop agreed to vary its identify to Swoop Scoop—which they don’t consider will throw their prospects for a loop.
Sport Misconduct
This one is truthfully exhausting to elucidate. The Seattle Kraken discovered themselves mired in a social media controversy after embracing a subset of romance novel followers on TikTok who forged professional hockey gamers in steamy subplots as a type of fan fiction. The Kraken invited TikTok customers to video games and posted memes that includes their gamers—however then some people acquired carried away. Felicia Wennberg, the spouse of Kraken heart Alex Wennberg, requested followers to cease posting “predatory” and sexualized messages. Influencers shot again. Perhaps all of us want a while within the penalty field to chill off.
Roll Up
Sizzling canine. Hen bake. Sashimi? The Issaquah Costco turned the corporate’s first U.S. location with its personal in-house sushi counter that includes actual reside cooks slicing fish and assembling rolls for day by day buy. To date, contemporary sushi hasn’t appeared in another native Costcos.
Fall 2023
Level Break In
On Might 25, a bunch of moist swimsuit–clad burglars broke into an occupied waterfront dwelling in Yarrow Level at about 4am. They stole roughly $20,000 in money from a secure, made their method onto kayaks, and paddled off into the darkness. Officers from the Clyde Hill Police Division stated they believed the burglars have been headed north on Lake Washington towards, of all locations, Kirkland.
Doodle Dandy
Rebecca Wu, a Bellevue sixth grader, received the annual “Doodle for Google” competitors, together with her drawing referred to as “My Sweetest Recollections.” Along with seeing her paintings on Google’s homepage for a day, she additionally received a $30,000 faculty scholarship and a $50,000 grant for her college. Wu says her profitable entry was impressed by her sisters.
Fleeced?
In a battle between two manufacturers on the coronary heart of Seattle’s identification, Patagonia is suing Nordstrom for promoting what it claims are counterfeit objects at Rack shops. Patagonia claims that, after an 11-year partnership between the businesses ended, Nordstrom Rack continued to promote 1000’s of mislabeled sweatshirts and T-shirts, usually created from inferior supplies.
The Subsequent Apple
Horticulturalists from Washington State College have unveiled the state’s latest apple variant. Presently dubbed WA 64, it’s a hybrid of two well-liked varieties: the Honeycrisp and the Cripps Pink (also referred to as the Pink Woman). The WA 64 is the product of years of improvement and can take nonetheless extra years to hit your native farmers market, as timber get planted and mature. By then it should have a catchier identify.
Summer time 2023
Highway Rank
It’s not your creativeness: Washington is without doubt one of the worst states to drive in, not less than in accordance with private finance web site WalletHub. The Evergreen State got here in forty ninth place in a 2023 rating that accounted for visitors, infrastructure, security, and the price of proudly owning and sustaining a car. Hey, not less than we beat Hawaii.
Buckling Down
Seattle is suing Kia and Hyundai as a result of, as metropolis lawyer Ann Davison places it, the automobile producers “lower prices on the expense of their prospects.” The lawsuit alleges {that a} lack of anti-theft expertise in these autos is why town’s seen a 363 p.c improve in stolen Hyundais and a 503 p.c surge in pilfered Kias from 2021 to 2022.
Sounders F-U
In January, the Sounders introduced Windfall as their predominant package sponsor…and it didn’t go over properly. Supporters decried the religiously affiliated well being group’s anti-abortion and anti-transgender stance—one thing at odds with the soccer membership’s public overtures to the LGBTQ neighborhood. Some followers even went as far as to create their very own customized “pro-choice” jerseys.
Evening Streaking
A inexperienced fireball—brightly blazing house particles that explodes within the higher layers of Earth’s environment—lit up sprint cams and residential safety techniques throughout Western Washington final January. As proud residents rushed to put up their footage on Twitter, the American Meteor Society merely recorded it as Occasion 314-2023 in its fireball log. Technique to make us really feel particular.
USPS SOS
Native porch pirates have apparently set sail for wider waters as a string of mail truck thefts final winter despatched cops scouring Beacon Hill and West Seattle for the boxy white autos. In all cases, the mail carriers have been unhurt and the vans have been ultimately recovered—sans just a few packages.
Spring 2023
Flipping the Fowl
Elon Musk’s chaotic Twitter takeover included an endeavor to promote blue verification checkmarks for $8, leaving manufacturers to cope with IRL fallout from digital impersonators. A faux account for Redmond-based Nintendo of America posted a pic of its iconic Italian plumber extending the center finger.
Misinformation Thriller
Web scuttlebutt of a serial killer on the unfastened in Seattle appeared to unfold sooner than one may say “faux information” this fall. A notable Instagram account with 157,000 followers on the time posted concerning the rumor, and anxious service business vets handed phrase on to patrons. A College of Washington researcher later picked aside the report’s zero sources and doubtful gossip community progress.
Ticket to Refund
Seattle’s parking enforcement officers have lastly discovered a everlasting spot—again with the Seattle Police Division—after a shift to the Division of Transportation beneath former mayor Jenny Durkan led to an enormous mistake: a authorized technicality that compelled town to nullify almost $4.5 million in parking tickets.
Grocery store Sweep
Shareholders of grocery retailer chain Albertsons should wait a bit longer for a $4 billion payout from a proposed merger with Kroger. Washington’s lawyer basic Bob Ferguson filed for a short lived restraining order till state regulators may evaluate the deal. In line with The Seattle Occasions, greater than half of Seattle-area households ceaselessly store at a retailer owned by the 2 corporations.
What a Hoot
“Warning Aggressive Owl” learn indicators posted by the Division of Fish and Wildlife at North SeaTac Park, the place a hostile hen defending its nest was reportedly harassing passersby. Walkers have been inspired to slowly wave their arms overhead, put on a hat or helmet, or deploy an umbrella in the event that they needed to cross paths with the feathered defender.
Winter 2022
Slimy Seattle
For weeks Reddit ran wild with theories a couple of mysterious crimson goo clinging to sidewalks in Wallingford. Was it Tubifera ferruginosa, a raspberry mould? An homage to a wacky podcast sketch? Simply melted sweet? One courageous soul seems to have confirmed the globs are Swedish Fish, the Wallingford Pink Goo Instagram account studies. However its origins stay unknown.
Amazon vs. Microsoft Canceled (Actually)
After the Museum of Museums introduced a name for artwork solely from Amazon and Microsoft employees, many social media commenters dragged a present designed “to recalibrate the narrative round what a giant tech employee is,” citing the business’s ties to the gentrification pushing artists out of town. The exhibit, slated to debut this fall on the First Hill artwork house, was swiftly nixed.
Bahhhhd Selections
A Nigerian Dwarf goat was stolen from the Grays Harbor County Truthful. The suspects then took Penny to a Walmart in Lacey (naturally) earlier than the native sheriff’s workplace recovered the three-month-old animal and returned it to its house owners. The heist wasn’t the one native goat drama. A number of days later, three runaways trotted alongside Freeway 12 in Brady. A state trooper gave them a journey dwelling.
The AI Singer
Neglect about these Dall-E Mini artwork memes. Synthetic intelligence can be coming for the performing arts. A latest New York Occasions characteristic captured the oddity of watching a jazz fusion band carry out on Maury Island with a machine, Desdemona, as its lead vocalist. The not-yet-sentient singer crooned concerning the day when engineers can now not management their creations.
Bizarre Flex
In late August, the third Seattle-area location of a “premier assisted stretching boutique” opened in Issaquah. StretchLab gives private coaching periods with Flexologists and touts a machine that, after simply three squats, can assess one’s mobility, activation, posture, and symmetry. Memberships begin at $179 per 30 days.
Fall 2022
Hybrid Commuting
E-bike batteries. A stripped-down mobility scooter. An outdated love seat. Put all of it collectively and you’ve got the motorized sofa Kass Hodorowski has jury-rigged to wheel across the Metropolis of Future. The three-mile-per-hour pleasure rides of Tacoma Sofa Man have each amused social media and highlighted the sorry state of native sidewalk accessibility.
Hulled Up
Angelyn and Richard Burk, previously of Tukwila, will spend their retirement years dwelling solely on cruises. Angelyn, an accountant, says it’s extra reasonably priced to perpetually ship off for Sydney and different coastal locales than to abdomen the bonkers value of dwelling on shore.
Drawing the Strains
The Seattle Division of Transportation has eliminated a “guerrilla crosswalk” at Greenwood Avenue North and North 83rd Avenue, The Seattle Occasions studies. Thick white strains confirmed up one September day throughout a thoroughfare that’s overdue for a everlasting crossing. It’s being referred to as an act of tactical urbanism.
Et Tu, Apple?
Uncared for produce in warehouses and delivery containers will get wasted much less now, because of a neighborhood startup lately featured by GeekWire. Strella Biotechnology makes use of sensors to observe ranges of ethylene, a gasoline that fruits exude, to trace which Granny Smiths are ripe or rotten as they slog by way of the provision chain.
Cat-Paw-Tol Hill
The wanderlust of an orange tabby cat has captured the creativeness of a Seattle neighborhood. A quickly rising Fb group dedicated to Lord Byron, a five-year-old feline named for the adventurous British Romantic, paperwork sightings all over the place from road corners to inside random individuals’s houses. Lord Byron’s proprietor advised The Seattle Collegian the cat has even hopped into the vehicles of unsuspecting drivers.
Summer time 2022
Boxed In
Police rescued an 80-year-old lady in Illinois from a hostage scenario after her Seattle-based daughter seen she hadn’t texted her day by day Wordle rating. Unanswered messages prompted her kids to alert the authorities. No indication of what number of five-letter phrases the previous trainer considered throughout the many hours a unadorned, scissors-wielding man locked her in a toilet (she was unhurt), however some four-letter ones will need to have come to thoughts.
KOMO Axes Its Tourism Bureau
Broadcast information fixated on crime downtown early in 2022, and no person was extra obsessed than KOMO reporter Jonathan Choe. Throughout one dispatch, he stood throughout from police on Third Avenue and queried a visiting couple, “You guys aren’t afraid to stroll by way of all this?” The vacationers, befuddled, saved strolling. Choe was later fired after a number of incidents.
Flightmare Gas
Pilots have skilled some sudden air visitors within the neighborhood of Jet Metropolis. The rollout of AT&T and Verizon’s 5G wi-fi providers grounded all passenger flights at Paine Area earlier this yr as a result of it doubtlessly interfered with important security tools. And somebody educated a inexperienced mild on a number of planes approaching Sea-Tac in harmful (and prison) “laser strikes.”
Caught on KUOW
A glitch in Mazdas of a sure age lately examined the bounds of our public radio fandom. Drivers turning to the NPR station in vehicles made between 2014 and 2017 despatched their infotainment techniques into a brand new iteration of the Seattle Freeze. The issue stays one thing of a thriller, however native dealerships have begun putting in alternative elements freed from cost to appease the aggrieved tote-clutchers.
Not a Prime Supply
Jeff Bezos has provided to pay for the deconstruction of a historic bridge in Rotterdam, Netherlands, to accommodate the cargo of his $485 million superyacht. In protest, 1000’s of Fb customers have pledged to egg the 417-foot vessel because it makes its method by way of the Dutch port. In unrelated information, Bezos’s ex MacKenzie Scott has donated extra to charity since their break up than the Amazon founder.
Editor’s notice: This checklist is up to date quarterly with information objects of questionable import however indubitable resonance within the Seattle zeitgeist. When you have any odd native anecdotes to share that haven’t made headlines but, be at liberty to ship them to [email protected].
