Eva Walker is a author, a KEXP DJ, one-half of the rock duo the Black Tones, and mother to her child woman, Hendrix. She additionally co-wrote the e-book The Sound of Seattle: 101 Songs That Formed a Metropolis, which was launched in 2024. Each month for The Stranger she writes a letter to Hendrix to share knowledge realized from her experiences—and her errors.
Expensive Hendrix,
Sooner or later you’ll be allowed to go away the home by yourself for a date, and while you do—at age 40—you’ll discover that there are numerous attention-grabbing methods of assembly somebody new. Individuals meet potential prospects in all kinds of locations: Supermarkets, canine parks, the gymnasium, bars, and even church. However generally, the sparks will hit you on the most awkward and peculiar moments. Like over a lifeless physique.
In 2015, two years earlier than I met your dad, your grandma’s first cousin died in his sleep. Though he was in his eighties, it was very sudden and a shock to all of us. My cellphone rang that early November morning (by the best way, I HATE November, however that’s for an additional letter), and it was his granddaughter calling to inform me he hadn’t woken up. As she cried on the cellphone, I drove straight over to his home to see if I may very well be of help. After I arrived, I noticed him mendacity there, lifeless and pale. We referred to as the funeral dwelling to arrange preparations, and as we waited for them to reach, I volunteered to take a seat within the room with the physique as nobody needed to go away it unattended (unsure why). I began buzzing my regular haunting gospel spirituals: “You higher prepare for judgment morning!” I’m a gospel-loving atheist and rattling proud.
Not lengthy after the third or so non secular, the funeral dwelling workers—all dressed of their snazzy but macabre black fits—walked in, routinely but respectfully. There was one who stood out instantly: He had darkish black framed glasses and darkish brown slicked-back hair. I stood up and launched myself. Let’s name him Denzel. Denzel gave me an enormous smile and launched himself instantly. The very first thing Denzel mentioned was, “We might want to transfer all of these things away from bed earlier than we are able to take the physique.” I used to be smitten and mentioned gleefully, “I’ll transfer these things away, no downside!” So I began selecting up papers and previous mail. As I cleaned, I requested, “So, what sort of music do you guys like?” I actually don’t bear in mind what solutions they gave, nevertheless it turned out Denzel had performed some music himself and was stoked to listen to I, too, was a musician. And my darkish bizzaro-self was weirdly stoked he was within the area of funeraling. (Is “funeraling” a phrase?)
After we eliminated muddle from the mattress, all that remained had been ruffled sunset-colored sheets and a pale, stiff physique. Denzel started to forcefully push down the arm of the deceased (it was bent upward when he handed away). “Why are you pushing down on his arm?” I requested. “I’ve to straighten his arm out, and the rigor mortis simply kicked in,” Denzel mentioned. Me, asking flirty and curiously, “Rigor mortis? What’s that?” He replied with a delicate grin, “It’s the stiffening of muscle tissues after loss of life.” Me, nonetheless flirting, “Oh actually? Wow, that is attention-grabbing.”
I felt the flirting coming again at me from Denzel. Because the feeling was mutual, I felt much less nervous about the truth that this was taking place with a lifeless physique within the room. It took a couple of minutes, however Denzel finally acquired that arm straightened out, and now it was time to wrap the physique up, which they went forward and used the mattress sheet to do. Now I had by no means seen something like that earlier than, and I see why speedy relations in all probability don’t need to be within the room as a result of it might be too arduous to see. However as I watched, and flirted and watched and flirted—I do know there’s a particular place in Hell for me—they lastly had him all packed up on the cart and able to take to the funeral dwelling for preparations. I wasn’t courageous sufficient to trade cellphone numbers with Denzel there; that will have been taking it slightly too far. (I do know what you’re considering; cease judging me.)
The service happened a couple of week or so later on the funeral dwelling, and I hoped Denzel could be there—I had no different approach of contacting him. Family and friends arrived sporting their black outfits and unhappy faces, and I, whereas certainly mourning, was on a secret mission to search out Denzel. We had been greeted by the lead funeral director and one other worker who guided us to the principle room the place the casket was and the place the service was going to happen. As individuals headed towards the chapel, I went to one of many employees and casually requested, “Hey have you learnt if Denzel occurs to be right here?” The worker’s eyes brightened, and he excitedly responded, “Oh! You have to be Eva! Keep right here, I’ll go get him!” I used to be shocked. Not solely did Denzel bear in mind my identify, however I used to be the speak of the funeral dwelling!
Minutes later, Denzel ran up the steps and out the door, adjusting his go well with jacket with an enormous smile. Because the service started and other people shared tales and recollections, I used to be answerable for the slide present. In fact, I pretended to not be very proficient with a typical pc, so Denzel must assist me as a lot as potential. It labored. Towards the tip of the service, Denzel and I sat behind the venue, and I requested all kinds of curious questions in regards to the embalming course of: “What does the physique seem like after you drain all of the blood out?” and “Do the our bodies ever make bizarre noises or transfer?” Questions I notice now he’s requested a thousand occasions, however he thought my curiosity was lovely and was glad to reply them. It was a really good and enlightening dialog. In case you have any questions on what occurs to a physique at a funeral dwelling Henny, I would truly be capable of reply them for you.
After the service, I invited Denzel to a late-night burlesque efficiency I used to be doing at a basement venue in Capitol Hill (additionally a narrative for an additional letter sometime), and proper then and there, we lastly exchanged cellphone numbers. I gave him the main points for the efficiency, and he proceeded to say, “Okay, I’ll be there. However it is best to know I’m on name. So if somebody dies throughout your efficiency, I’ll should go to select up a physique.” “That’s a very good motive,” I mentioned.
Our brief time relationship was like another temporary relationship, and he ended up shifting to California to pursue screenwriting in movie and we finally fell out of contact. Years later, Denzel texted me asking if I needed to fulfill up. I needed to textual content him the information that I used to be fortunately married for the reason that final time we talked nevertheless it was good to listen to from him.
You meet individuals within the oddest locations generally, and often, it makes for an awesome reminiscence, an necessary lesson, or just only a good story you possibly can share with individuals to barely creep them out throughout Thanksgiving. Hendrix, when it’s my time to go, and you must make the dreadful name for my physique to be picked up, simply bear in mind this story. As a result of if that mortician, funeral director, mortuary transporter, no matter title they’ve, stroll within the room and also you see one thing you want, don’t let my expired meat go well with forestall you from taking pictures your shot.