23. FOR PEAT’S SAKE: Log one which takes place in a swamp or a bathroom.
The Return of Swamp Factor
As authorities contractors slog by means of a shady swamp seeking moonshiners, one in all them will get snatched up by a gross gloopy man whereas taking a whizz. The gape-mouthed, Moo-Deng-esque creature toys along with his human prey, however then, Swamp Factor reveals up and completely beats ass.
Thus begins The Return of Swamp Factor, one of the treasured items ever put to celluloid. Entering into, I knew subsequent to nothing of Swamp Factor’s lore, and largely selected this movie resulting from its exceptionally enjoyable poster. I watched it for the primary time final evening, and thank the bathroom gods I did.
Heather Locklear performs Abbie Arcane, a lovely vegetarian who practices transcendental meditation and yammers to her flowers. Abbie travels to Florida to go to her evil, anti-aging quack of a stepfather, Dr. Anton Arcane, who’s stationed in a cyber lair curiously near a swamp. Seems he experiments with gene splicing, making a monstrous military from unlucky people and swamp animals. (Ostensibly, the gross gloopy man is one in all these human-swamp hybrids.)
Other than the truth that Swamp Factor is an apparent “hear me out,” he is additionally a scientist. Alec Holland was reworked right into a bathroom beast after dealings with Dr. Arcane and his cronies years earlier, and now stalks the swamps, addressing Arcane’s ongoing violence and foolishness along with his fists.
When Dr. Arcane decides that Abbie is the subsequent goal for his experiments, she makes an attempt to flee, and is rescued—then re-captured—then re-rescued—by Swamp Factor, who at one level oozes by means of Dr. Arcane’s bathtub faucet and reanimates himself with an electrical inexperienced dazzle.
Frankly, the plot is not tremendous necessary. You get the gist: Swamp Factor is superior and kinda scorching, Dr. Arcane is a nutjob, Abbie and Swamp Factor belong collectively, and many others. However The Return of Swamp Factor‘s most sudden delights are two kids, launched as they pore over porn mags in a trailer park. The gross gloopy man tries to get ’em, however Swamp Factor saves the day once more.
One child specifically, a portly little redhead with a coronary heart of gold, is probably historical past’s best youngster actor, delivering quotes like “Yeah, I feel that inexperienced dude’s good,” and “Wow, Swamp Factor’s kickin’ some butt.” Laborious to argue with that.
The Stranger is collaborating in Scarecrow Video’s Psychotronic Problem all month lengthy! Each October, Scarecrow places collectively a listing of cinematic themes and invitations people to comply with alongside and watch a horror, sci-fi, or fantasy flick that meets the factors. This 12 months, Stranger staffers are becoming a member of the enjoyable and we’re sharing our day by day suggestions right here on Slog! Learn extra about Scarecrow’s 2024 problem—and get the watch listing—right here. And you’ll monitor our day by day suggestions right here! 💀
