Good Morning! We’re nonetheless within the drizzly section. It’ll be damp till Sunday, within the mid-50s. It’s not hang-out-oustide climate, however you gained’t completely hate ready for the bus.
Wanna begin with a headline that’ll make you wish to smash issues? Right here’s one: “Kristi Noem Needs Migrants to Compete for Citizenship on New Actuality Present.” It is a actual headline within the Each day Beast, adopted by a actual story about how she’s working with the producer of Duck Dynasty to pitch a actuality TV present known as The American, the place contestants would journey across the nation, competing in regionally-specific contests like log rolling or rocket constructing (??). On the finish, the winner will get sworn in on the steps of the Capitol, and the losers go dwelling with some super-American prizes like airline miles, a Starbucks reward card, or a lifetime provide of gasoline. “Alongside the way in which, we shall be reminded what it means to be American—by way of the eyes of the individuals who need it most,” the producer wrote in a 35-page pitch. The Division of Homeland Safety continues to be vetting the proposal, however they HAVEN’T. SAID. NO.
Assuming you weren’t capable of hold your breakfast down throughout that first one, let’s have a fast palate cleanser. The Level Defiance Zoo welcomed a brand new Malayan tapir calf. He’s cute, he’s striped, and he hasn’t heard about our fast decline into fascism but. Simply have a look at him for a short time.
Canada’s Getting Sick of Our Shit: Customs and Border Patrol (CPB) has began stacking bonus checkpoints close to the Peace Arch on the Canadian border, slowing the crossing down to 2 and a half hours, and pissing off any remaining Canadians in British Columbia that didn’t hate us already. (On the similar time, the Trump administration has launched a program to trace the biometrics of each particular person who leaves the nation by automobile.) Canada’s pissed, and so are the border cities that depend on their tourism {dollars}.
Even the Supreme Court docket Is Skeptical: Washington AG Nick Brown was within the Supreme Court docket chambers yesterday morning as states, together with Washington, threw down towards the DOJ, whereas Trump’s attorneys answered hours of questions from justices about their try to overturn birthright citizenship. “I actually assume as we speak was an unraveling of the absurdity of a number of the arguments the Trump administration is making,” Brown advised the Seattle Instances. He stated a number of of the justices stated “fairly explicitly” that they thought the Trump administration arguments “violated 150 years of precedent.” At the very least somebody round right here remembers how legal guidelines work. The query is, will Trump care?
Seattle Decide Forgets to Be a Human, Walks Again Refugee Ruling: Earlier this month, Seattle-based US District Decide Jamal Whitehead had proven some fundamental decency and ordered the Trump administration to permit the 12,000 refugees into the US who had “organized and confirmable” journey plans to enter the US earlier than January 20, when Trump took workplace and suspended our refugee admissions program. However yesterday, he misplaced monitor of that humanity and walked the order again, saying the US ought to admit simply 160 refugees who had plans to resettle within the US inside two weeks of inauguration day. The remainder? They should undergo a case-by-case evaluation by a “particular grasp.” Nothing screams liberty and democracy just like the phrases “particular grasp.”
Kilmar Is Nonetheless in El Salvador: At present, DOJ attorneys shall be in court docket to defend their refusal to reveal particulars about Kilmar Armando Abrego Garcia’s wrongful deportation, together with the diplomatic steps that officers have taken prior to now few weeks to get Abrego Garcia launched (none), and the details about the deal between the White Home and the Salvadoran authorities to deal with deported immigrants in its notoriously harmful jails. Marco Rubio claims that sharing any of that info “could possibly be anticipated to trigger important hurt to the international relations and nationwide safety pursuits of the USA.” Abrego Garcia’s attorneys identified the absurdity that the federal government’s (completely lack of) efforts to free him from El Salvador could possibly be thought of a state secret, particularly on condition that they’ve plastered his face on their social media for weeks.
Speaking Round It: I wish to take a second on one line within the New York Instances story about Abrego Garcia: “[The Trump administration’s] public statements have raised important questions on whether or not the administration is overtly defying the Supreme Court docket’s directions—and what, if something, may be accomplished about that.” Trump has overtly defied directions from the Supreme Court docket—an absolute violation of our system of checks and balances that maintains our experiment in democracy—and doing nothing about that’s accepting that we now have a dictator. Let’s hold saying that out loud.
It’s SIFF Season: Seattle’s very personal movie competition kicked off final night time, and it runs till Could 25. This 12 months, we returned to our custom of making an attempt to observe each single SIFF movie, and, as Stranger Arts Editor Emily Nokes wrote, we “are proud/exhausted to say that we made it by way of each single screener that was made accessible to us, so that you simply, pricey reader, could possibly be just a little extra knowledgeable about what guidelines, what sucks, what is gorgeous, and what’s incomprehensibly boring.” We wrote up each rattling movie within the lineup, and we’re thrilled to report that we liked 32 of them, and there are an extra 18 that we expect you completely shouldn’t miss. In order for you just a little further enjoyable, we made a SIFF bingo card in our new print problem, with Easter eggs from the entire movies we watched. Bonus factors in the event you can work out which movie has a scene the place a cop will get hit within the head with an 18-inch used dildo.
Cease Cyber Bullying Our Libraries: This time, a cyber assault hit the Pierce County library system, and most of its providers are frozen. The branches are nonetheless open, with free public web entry, and the library collections can be found on a first-come, first-serve foundation. If in case you have books from the library proper now, don’t fear about it. They are saying to carry onto them for now—they don’t cost charges for late returns anyway.
What occurs to children when the US deports their mother and father? Good query. Since we haven’t found out a useful system for states to physique block ICE brokers but, each Oregon and Washington are pulling collectively groups to debate how they need to deal with precise youngsters left parentless by ICE. We’re nearly 4 months into the Trump administration, and nobody seems to have a transparent plan but.
Nonetheless shaking off the craze from that first blurb (and the whole lot after it)? This would possibly assist. Juno Birch is coming to city on Sunday together with her Probed tour. Get your butt to the Neptune and lose your self in just a little homosexual pleasure for an evening.
